so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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