Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
