when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I skipped work to stalk him.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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