Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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