I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
