There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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