Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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