i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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