Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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