Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
