Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
