omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
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I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
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