I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
