Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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