let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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