you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
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