I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
