I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Found the puke drawer
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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