I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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