I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I love you.
Bad choice
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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