How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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