Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
is it fun? or sober?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
