yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
