they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize