based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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