i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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