I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
