so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Alive.
So much puke
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
