I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
