we're blogging at a bar
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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