i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
