I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
