My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This house was built for laser tag.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
