Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
