they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize