why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
