you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Blood and glitter go together right?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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