I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
