I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
