I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
