He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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