it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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