I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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