I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Pants are for mortals
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