Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
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Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
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WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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