Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
