Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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