Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize