she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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