he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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