Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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