She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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