i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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