GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
