Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
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he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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