Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
