Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
