half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
