Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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