I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
