Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
