i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
