Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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