in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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